Dear Appy,
My human has been bawling since Christmas because “Santa didn’t bring me a new horse.” Excuse me, ‘New Horse’? What the hell am I, dog food? Yes, I might be a bit long in the tooth at 22 but I can still canter with the best of ‘em, jump a fallen log in the woods, buck like a rodeo star, and lead the herd in pasture games. I’ve been her go-to ride for 18 years and saved her ass so many times, I lost count. Now SHE’S dumping ME? What gives?

Signed, Not Ready for Retirement

Dear Not Ready,
Oh dear, it isn’t you, it’s her. You don’t mention her age but if you’ve schooled her since she was a youngster, she might be what humans call a “millennial”. This is a particular breed of human that seeks shiny new things. It may be that she, like some of that breed, thinks she is due for what she sees is a promotion. It doesn’t mean she’s going to dump you. Don’t try to read the tea leaves on this one. Think of it this way: this could be a career opportunity. If she brings in a new horse, that horse will have to learn from someone and that will be you. And really, do you want to keep proving that you can save your human? That sounds exhausting. I’d say let her try to take on someone new. Once she gets dumped a few times she’ll be doubling your treats. You aren’t going anywhere. You’re moving into management.

Love, Appy