Dear Appy. My horse has a glorious tail. He seems very proud of it but I worry. It seems the hair is getting too long. In particular it drags on the ground and sometimes when he steps backward he steps on it and scares himself. Should I cut a couple inches off the length, make it more manageable?
Signed, Vanity

Dear Vanity,

I’m just going to lay this out there: that tail only needs to be long enough to shoo flies or send a signal. That’s it. Don’t think that you can put the onus on your horse. That tail is all you. Unless that tail is his livelihood, do your friend a favor and trim it before he rips out a hunk of hair. People. Sheesh.
Love, Appy

Dear Appy. I’m a human and my muzzle is getting grey. My question is at what age should I stop riding and jumping?

Dearest Human Kim,
Oh no. Did you hear that from Society and her friend Family? I’ve never met Society or Family in person but those two seem to have a lot of sway with humans. Too much, if you ask me. We’re all getting a little gray around the muzzle. Who are those two characters to tell us what we should be doing “at our age”? Do you see horses telling their older pasturemates, “Hey, you need to stop kicking up your heels there, Old Man”? Of course you don’t. Honey, if you can still throw a leg over a horse and that horse doesn’t toss you in the clover, then you keep right on riding. Jumping, too, if you feel like it. I’ve heard humans lose their bounce after a certain point but if you don’t come off I suppose that’s not an issue. Now, if you get a little shaky in the knees at the thought of popping over a fence, then maybe it’s time to try something else with your horse. If Society and Family get all squeamish and whiny, they can go play darts or something while you ride. Tell them you’ll meet them at the pub afterward.
Love, Appy